Save the Marriage

Save the Marriage – No marriage is perfect, but some certainly fair better than others. And many marriages fluctuate between periods of things going really well and periods of struggle. But when things get particularly bad, you may find yourself wondering what things you can do to save the marriage. While in some cases it may take drastic measures, there are often some less extreme changes you can make which will have a much more positive impact than you might think.

If your marriage is currently going through a difficult time, read on for two seemingly small adjustments you and your spouse can make to save the marriage. Often it’s the little things that can really make a difference over time.

Get out of the routine rut

find_marriage_CounselorIt is very easy to get stuck in a mundane routine which begins to make your marriage feel lifeless and dull. It happens in countless marriages because to a large degree, we, as humans, like to stay in our comfort zone. And routines are “comfortable”. That being said, routines do serve some purpose in terms of keeping life ordered rather than chaotic. So there must be a balance.

If you are at a point where you need to save the marriage, it may be time to spice things up a bit and change your routine. Decide to break your normal routine for a few weeks. Perhaps you can agree to be more spontaneous when it comes to intimacy. Rather than do the same activity week after week (like dinner at your parents every Thursday night) reserve that block of time and choose a different activity every week. It will help you pull out of the stagnant pattern you have fallen into.

Don’t forget the romance!

Often when two people feel they need to save the marriage, the romance has fizzled or disappeared altogether. When you were first dating, and perhaps even early on in your marriage, there was probably a lot of romance. Flowers, love notes, candlelight dinners, etc. were an important part of your relationship.

Romance is fun, exciting, and is a way to show your spouse how special he or she is to you. Romance is also part of what separates your relationship with each other from all your other relationships in life.

Too many couples quickly neglect this part of their relationship, especially when careers, children, and household chores take up all of their time and energy. The romantic gestures and times together dwindle or cease altogether. Except for occasional sex, they begin practically living like roommates.

If your marriage is struggling and you are not sure what to do to save the marriage, one of the things which can help is to start “dating” again and bring romance back into the picture. While it may seem silly or superficial, those special loving gestures can help you begin to reconnect. You know what things make your spouse feel special. And that is really what romance is all about.

If you truly want to save the marriage, work towards bringing some spontaneity and romance back into your relationship. Not only will it make you both feel more energized and alive, it will add some much-needed fun. But most of all, those romantic gestures will help reignite the passion that was once there as you strive to show your spouse, in little ways, just how much he or she means to you.


Author of how to save a marriage from marital relationship problems.

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