Stop Divorce – The odds are one out of two that your marriage will end up in a divorce. At least, that is what the statistics say. But statistics do not have to determine whether or not divorce happens to you. Deep down, many people really prefer to stop divorce from happening to their marriage. Before you file for divorce you may want to ask yourself some tough questions to determine if a plan to stop divorce is a much better alternative.
Do I really want to walk away from this marriage?
This first question may seem rather obvious on the surface, but not everyone truly takes the time to search their soul before signing divorce papers. If there has been a lot of anger or other strong emotions present in the marriage, it can cloud your thinking and lead you to make decisions that aren’t always in your best interest. If you want to stop divorce, you must set your emotions aside, at least temporarily, and try to gain some perspective on the situation. Often, if a couple can address the issue underlying the emotional pain, the healing of the relationship can begin.
What will I lose if I divorce my spouse?
If your marriage has been in crisis for a long time and you are considering divorce, you likely have thought more about how much better off you will be by getting out of the marriage. Unfortunately, many people don’t realize what they had until it is gone. Rather than thinking how much better it may be, think long and hard about what you will lose if you divorce your spouse.
Most likely there was a lot of good in your marriage. We tend to forget the good times when we are upset, angry, bitter, resentful, or hurt. Those emotions cloud everything and blind us to all the good things we have in our life. Try to set aside all the negative things which you are sure you won’t miss, and make a list of all the good things you will lose if you don’t stop divorce from happening. You might be surprised at the answers you come up with.
How will this affect our children?
If you have children, you really want to think very carefully about the impact a divorce will have on them. Children often blame themselves when their parents split up. Also, it can significantly disrupt their overall sense of security. And if you are planning to share custody or allow weekend visits, consider the toll that that sort of arrangement will take on your children. To stop divorce may be the best thing you can do for them.
What is this going to cost me in terms of finances, friendship, and family?
Another very serious question you need to ask yourself before you pursue a divorce is what is the real cost? Many people don’t really know how much they stand to lose until the divorce is final. While financial cost is certainly a factor, the true losses are usually much more painful. You may lose relationships with family members, particularly those of your spouse.
You may also lose friendships. Many people that are currently in your life as a couple may feel the need to choose sides if you don’t stop divorce. If they were initially your spouse’s friends (or family members), chances are they will cool their relationship with you if you go through with the divorce.
Those are just a few of the tough questions you really need to think through before proceeding with a divorce. While divorce may seem like the only solution at the moment, as you answer those questions you may decide that to stop divorce and work on healing your marriage is a far better solution to whatever marital challenges you and your spouse are facing.